Ha!

I'm sitting behind camera somewhere, keeping an eye on the DP while the Gaffer sneaks out to make a quick phone call. The scene's pretty much lit as the DP makes some final adjustments with the framing. I'm out of the way, but still close enough to hear what he's saying; especially this to his Dolly Grip:

"Okay, move it to the right a little bit... No, no... Go back... No... That's not right either... [turns to his AC] I have no idea where the lens on this thing is."

Granted, the camera did look something like this, and I'm sure he was only (partially) joking, but it was all I could do from laughing out loud when I heard him say that last part.

It was absolutely the last thing I expected to hear from such an accomplished DP and it was by far the best thing I've heard all week.