Keep It Neat.

I just stubbed my toe for the umpteenth time on a box that's been sitting in my living room. It's been there for over a month now. What's inside the box? Christmas presents.

Yes, that's right. I still haven't unpacked everything that I schlepped down with me from when I visited the folks for the holidays.

I think it kind of blends in with the other piles of crap I have in my apartment. I have towers of old magazines, stacks of unread junk mail, DVDs collecting dust on the floor by my TV, and other miscellaneous items that I've been too lazy to put away or find a home for. I usually let dirty dishes pile up in the sink until I run out of clean plates in the cupboard and I've been known to not put away clean laundry more than once. (I just grab what I need from the basket. It'll end up empty eventually.)

The funny thing is, as messy as I am in my personal life, there's no way in hell I'd be like this on set.

It drives me absolutely crazy to see unorganized crates of gels, scrims without a bag, and cables strewn about on the floor like a plate of spaghetti in the hands of a two year-old. If there's an unused double net that's mingling with the singles, I have to reunite it with its own kind. And don't even get me started on random dolly parts separated from the herd, a pile of sand bags instead of a stack and improperly soldiered c-stands with heads pointed in every direction. I can't even look at those.

I like it when things are nice and neat at work. Not only does that mean I know where everything is, but so does everyone else in your department. When the Gaffer calls for a cut of CTO for a tweenie, it can be found in the same place every time. And even better, there's no question where it's supposed to go when it's time to put it back. Nothing makes a day player feel as lost as when something's called for, and she has no idea where it might be because the carts and drawers aren't labeled (or labeled incorrectly). Same goes for the end of the night and she's asked to pack up said carts. More often than not, those things come with so much stuff cramed in them that things only fit one way and a if it's not clearly labeled what went where, it's enough to drive anyone mad.

Neatness makes things easier on the body too. No one likes to fight through a forest of mombo combos just to get to a baby stand, or dig through a pile of 4/0 to get to some 100 ampers. What really sucks is when, for some reason or another, gear gets separated across the stage/location, creating multiple, random, impromptu "staging" areas. Is that banded you need in cart #1 by the truck, in cart #2 by crafty, in cart #3 at the opposite end of the stage...? (There's only one way to find out, and it involves a lot of walking.)

And more importantly, when things are neat, it's a hell of a lot safer.

Cables criss-crossing every which way like streets on a road map is definitely a trip hazard. The same goes for lights with coils not under their stand (or even worse yet, corkscrewed across the floor) and sandbags haphazardly strewn about. Improperly stored stands have also been known to fall and injure someone. While I can live with the occasional stubbed toe from my own carelessness at home, it's an entirely different thing to get hurt due to someone else's laziness. Or even worse, if someone gets hurt because of mine.

So while I haven't seen the floor of my bedroom since I moved in and I have a receipt or two from 2007 decorating my coffee table, at least I'm neat and tidy where it counts. It's actually kind of amazing/scary to see how OCD I can be at work, yet come home to an apartment that still looks like I just moved in.

And FYI guys, nothing is hotter than a Best Boy who runs an impeccably organized truck/staging area. I once worked with a Gaffer who rolled up with his own gear and everything was so organized and clearly labeled that even his crates had (labeled!) mini-crates inside them. It was enough to make me and the other chick working in g/e that day swoon. Damn. Too bad he's married.

You Know You've Found The Right Crew When...

... you overhear a dirty joke on set and someone turns to you and says, "You better get used to it." But before you can reply, an annoyed colleague tells him, "Trust me, she probably is."

♥.

What's Going On Here?

A couple of days ago, I got called to help with a load-in for a show my friend was doing. Unfortunately, I'm not part of the permanent crew, but hey, work is work. Besides, if I'm just on for a day, load-in days are the good ones. You spend the day in a rental house counting and checking out the gear and most of the time, you get to go home in less than eight hours. (And if you're lucky, you'll run into someone you know on a different crew and possibly drum up some future work. No such luck for me this time around though.) The work may be tedious, but I'm definitely not complaining.

Especially since I was lucky to even land work for a day. Word on the streets is that it's still pretty slow out there in terms shooting. Almost every juicer, grip and cameraman I've spoken to since I got back into town early last month has been out of work. Sigh. So much for the rumors.

But something weird was going on at the rental house though. They were missing a lot of gear. We had to cross some things off our order list simply because they didn't have any more inventory on their shelves. There were a few items we had to sit and wait around for because they just got returned. And often times, we ended up with the older style lights and stands (aka: stuff that's rusted, banged up, and/or somewhat questionable) because that's all they had left. By the time we got there, there wasn't even any more milk crates! And this was a pretty well known and sizable rental house too.

So what's going on here? Why is it that most people, union and non-union folk alike, are pretty much starving for work, yet a major rental house is running out of equipment? This makes no sense to me. Where is all this gear going and who is being hired to operate it??

Am I missing something?

Quarter Life Crisis?

"If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time."
- Chinese Proverb

In the comments of one of my previous posts, D (of Dollygrippery) said of our industry, "It can be a little intimidating sometimes, especially starting out, but if you stay at it long enough to earn a good rep and work your way up the ladder it's just like any business." This is true. While there may be one or two guys out there who slip through the cracks of hard labor (whether it be from luck, nepotism, or both), it's no secret that one must "pay their dues" in this town. But even D admits that, "If you reach your 30's and still are slaving away with no retirement plan, living with two other guys, and no insurance, it's time to rethink either your choices or your plan of attack. Something is wrong somewhere." This is also true.

Very few below-the-liners want to live the union free life (though some do, but that's an entirely different topic all together). Generally speaking, if you're still toiling away on piece-of-shit indie productions by the time you're thirty, it's pretty safe to say that you're not a homeowner, your retirement fund is on the lean side, and/or if you have kids, you're struggling to put them through college. So if that isn't where you had hoped to be at this stage in your life, would you know when to call it quits?

I agree with D when he says that, "Your twenties, though, are a time for that stuff." If there was ever a time to live without a savings account or ample health insurance, it's when you're young and carefree. But as I slowly (but surely) creep towards the end of my twenties, I have to wonder: If it ever comes down to it, will I know when to walk away?

A large part of me will automatically answer back that I will never walk away. That it's a "Hollywood or Bust!" kind of scenario. I would hate to be one of those people who gave up on their dreams. But on the rational side of things, I'd also hate to be the person who has to move back in with her parents at the age of thirty because she never settled down and got a "real" job.

I know some of you will inevitably provide me with words of encouragement like, "Hang in there kiddo! You'll make it someday," but as kind and thoughtful as those words are, it's time to face the facts. Things have not been good for our finicky industry in the past couple of years. Various strikes, threats of strikes, new media and a bad economy has thrown this business for a loop. Jobs have been few and far between and I have yet to find one grip or juicer who hasn't been feeling the pinch. There's no telling how long it'll be before the next big opportunity comes my way; the one that makes the past few years of eating ramen and earning a barely livable wage worth it.

Sure, a lot can happen this year. Production can magically pick up again, putting everyone back to work. Paychecks and benefits for all! But if one thing's certain in this world, it's uncertainty. Nobody can predict the future.

So when does one say "enough is enough" and calls it quits? At what age do you dust your hands off and walk away? How long should you toil in the trenches before you say, "okay, I gave it my best shot. Now it's time to look for something else and move on?"

All too often, this town of ours is like being caught in an abusive relationship. After a good pummeling, whether it be from a rough few days at work or a dry spell that's gone on for too long, it knows just the right thing to say to lure you right back into its arms. It'll throw a good day or two your way; just enough to fool us into thinking that things will change. That life from here on out will be better. So you stay, but before you know it, the cycle starts all over again.

When shit like this happens, you can't help but ask yourself if you're "paying your dues" or if the Industry Gods are just fucking with you.

In the case of blog reader Desterdo, these kinds of things bothered him a little too much and he left the biz. Michael Taylor commended him for having the strength to do so, saying, "It sounds like you took a good look at the Industry, and made the right decision to leave before getting in too deep." On the other hand, D felt like the guy "lost his nerve a little too early." Two very different opinions from two guys that I respect (and who respect each other as well). As someone with an internal pessimist constantly battling my internal optimist, these kinds of conflicting views make my head go all swirly inside.

At any rate, this low-paying, cup-o-noodles eating, still-in-my-twenties college-esque lifestyle is fine for now (and at times, I gotta admit, it's kinda fun). But unless either my luck or the tide of this industry changes (or maybe a little of both), there will eventually come a point when I'll have to stop and decide if it's time for me to pack up my bags and leave this town. I guess the question that remains now is whether or not I'll realize it when it gets here, or if it'll be too late...

You Know You've Been Out Of Work For Too Long When...

... the muscles you built up from lugging cables and stands around all day have officially been converted to fat around your belly.

(Hmm... I think I'll go to the gym today...)

Isolation On Set.

Cell phones are awesome. They fit perfectly in your pocket, you can carry them wherever you go, they're great in case of an emergency and you can instantly Google the answer to something the next time you're caught in an "I wonder...." type of conversation.

But when are they not so great? When you're on set.

And I don't mean because they'll go off during a take (ironically, it's usually the AD or Sound Guy's phone that does that) but because it kind of sucks when you're the only one on a crew without a Smartphone. While your co-workers are checking their e-mail and updating their Facebook status, you're left out with nothing to do and no one to socialize with. It's like lunch time in the cafeteria all over again.

There's also nothing that makes you question the state of your generation more than looking up and seeing all your peers, with their faces illuminated by the ghostly blue glow of a tiny screen, eagerly typing away with their thumbs, oblivious to the fact that they're sitting just inches away from another person. Why have a real conversation with an actual human being when you can have one in 160 characters or less? Why should you get to know the people you work with when you can play a game of solitaire in the palm of your hand? Suddenly you find yourself surrounded by people, but essentially alone, which is a shitty feeling.

Same with iPods. Everyone loves music. It's a passion for some. I get it. But to have it playing in your ear the whole time you're at work? That, I don't get. Not only do you end up missing calls over the walkie with music blasting in your ear, but sometimes the sound bleeds into your own mic and suddenly the whole crew has to listen to Coldplay while you tell them your 20.

I'm not saying that I haven't been guilty of sending the occasional text from my phone while at work, but I usually save it for when I'm by myself babysitting a light, or during a take when you can't talk anyway. And I understand the need to be on the phone for professional reasons, like booking your next job, calling rental companies, looking up manuals and the like, but in my opinion, there's also such a thing as overdoing it.

Call me old fashioned, but sometimes I yearn for the days when cell phones weren't so prevalent. I miss the days when time between takes was filled with conversations with your fellow crew members. When you got to know more about your colleagues than if they're Blackberry or iPhone people.

It's Time For The Money Talk (Part II)

My post about money a couple of weeks ago brought up many good comments from readers of this blog as well as a few questions. Desterado writes:

"Considering that the work is not always guaranteed, there are dry spells and such how do you do things such as...

Pay for health insurance? Do you have some sort of special group rate you get because your profession is listed as in the Film Industry?

Save for retirement? This is possible, but unfortunately there's no "company" to match your 401k, right?

[...]

I guess what I want to know is what do you film guys/gals plan on doing when you're 50 or 60 or older? Are you actually filing income taxes on all of your earnings? Do you plan on living on social security or are you trying to setup some sort of retirement?

This is the stuff that bothered me and was part of the reason I stopped trying.

I wanna know!"

To tell you the truth, Desterado, I wanna know too!

So when I first started in this biz, I asked a lot of questions, and while I'm in no way an expert, voice of reason, and/or reliable source of information on the topic, this is what I've come up with in my unofficial research: There's no one real plan.

Health insurance? Some of us have it, some of us don't. Most of us who have it pay for it ourselves, but I've run into a few kids just starting out who are still under their parents' employers health insurance (at least for a little bit longer) due to some technical finagling. I once worked with a juicer who went on and on about how great an HSA is... unless you got sick or injured a lot. While I never went that route, the guy had some pretty convincing points. And despite being a freelance worker, I've heard of one or two companies who will offer you free health insurance after you stick with them for a certain amount of shows (rare, but it happens).

As for retirement, sometimes, it doesn't really matter if you have an employer who matches your 401(k) if you're not going to contribute to it. As Michael Taylor puts it in his response to Desterado, "Being young and immortal, I didn't care." And that's not an industry specific response either. I've met many people my age (and older) in whatever industry you can imagine and most of them don't have a retirement plan. Even those who have employers who will match their contributions have an empty account. Truth is, most of us are too busy trying to make rent or planning trips to Vegas or getting our careers off the ground to be bothered with something that's 50 years down the road.

As for me? I have health insurance which I buy on my own. And while I don't have a 401(k), I have an IRA which I'll occasionally (though never as often as I should) add to when times are good. I also put money into a savings account when I have it for the times when I don't. All this is made possible because I was lucky/smart enough to build a large stash of cash before I moved out here, giving me somewhat of a head start on the "financial stability" side of things. Granted, no amount of piggy banks could have prepared me for the dry spell of the past couple years, but at least my head's still above water for now.

I learned a long time ago that in this industry, you either make a little money or you make a lot. There's no in between. So until we start landing those big-number jobs, how we live depends on our individual priorities. Some of us are happy still living the "college life" with four roommates in a two bedroom apartment, spending money on video games, DVDs and plane tickets whenever they have the cash. And some of us worry about the future and pinch pennies in order to build up our saving accounts.

For those of you who are in the latter category but don't necessarily know where to start, websites like Bankrate, TheSimpleDollar, GetRichSlowly and Consumerist.com (just to name a few) often have tips on things like insurance, savings, retirement funds, debt management, etc. None of those sites are specific to this industry, but they can be very helpful nonetheless. And if you went to college, check out your school's alumni association. I know mine offers discounts on things like car insurance and my friend's school even hooked her up with a retirement account. There's also the Freelancer's Union (which Mr. Taylor also mentioned) of which I'm a member of. While I definitely haven't been taking advantage of all they have to offer, they do offer plans on various types of insurance as well as a 401(k). Membership also gets you discounts at select places like Staples and Barnes and Noble and administrators are constantly trying to improve the life of freelancers (like advocating for fairer tax and unpaid wage laws). While the organization may not be for everyone, it's probably worth checking out.

So, sorry Desterado. I know it doesn't sound like the concrete answer you're looking for, but it's the best that I could come up with. There's no one real secret path that we're all following. There's no guidebook for this part of Hollywood. Rather, the truth is that we're making it up as we go along. Some of us have been lucky. Some of us have not. Some of us don't think about tomorrow, while some of us lose sleep over it. One thing is for sure though: we all want to be here. Whatever our end goal is in this Industry, to us, it's worth the sleepless nights, low bank accounts and unknown future. If none of that is for you, then you were smart to get out when you did.

Ps.
Since I'm primarily in the non-union world, this post is geared more towards those "in the trenches" with me. Many of these concerns are figured out if/when you join the IA (aka: the Union) and more info on that can be found in Michael Taylor's response since I'm not even going to pretend I know any of the details about it. And as always, if anyone wants to chime in about any of this, comments are welcome.