Just A Day Player.

"Hey A.J.! Where've you been??" Crafty asks me, "We had quesadillas and that salsa you like yesterday and you missed it!"

"Aw... Damn!" I replied, bummed that I missed out on some good eatin'. These guys knew their way around some tasty snacks and had quickly become my favorite crafty.

"So, where were you?" Crafty asks again.

"Uh... no where. Just sitting around at home."

"What?"

"Yeah," I knew where this conversation was going, "I'm just a day player on this and I guess they didn't need me here yesterday."

"What?? How are you a day player on this? You work harder than most of the guys here!"

I shrug, give him a smile and go on my way. I've been day playing with this crew for a while now, and nothing more. I come in once every couple of days. Sometimes a little more often; sometimes a little less. Sometimes just enough to fool the other departments into thinking I'm around all the time before laying me off again, which was the case now. And no matter how much my co-workers like me or how much I get along with everyone, something tells me that my status as a day player isn't going to change anytime soon with these guys. Which is fine if it wasn't for everyone else reminding me of that fact.

A few minutes later, I run into the On Set Decorator.

"A.J.!" she says, patting me on the back, "Where'd you disappear off to yesterday?"

(Here we go again...)

"No where. I was just at home."

"What? What happened?"

"...Nothing. I'm a day player on this and they didn't need me here yesterday."

"What? You're a day player and not a regular?"

"Yup."

She gives me a puzzled look. I shrug and offer a smile as I continue on my way.

I don't get very far when a P.A. known for his friendly banter catches a glimpse of me.

"Hey, you!"

I stop in my tracks. "What?"

"You're back!"

"Yeah."

"Where'd you go yesterday?"

"Home...?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a day player. They didn't need me yesterday so I stayed home."

"Oh... Wait, what??"

I shrug and smile at the boy as I continue on with my work.

Sometime later, I find myself sitting by the Key Grip waiting for the next set up to start.

"Hey, look who's back today!"

"Hi, Key Grip. How are you this morning?"

"I'm good. What show did you leave us for yesterday? Something good, I hope!"

"Um... No show... I'm just a day player on this and they didn't need me yesterday."

"Wait, you're only a day player?"

"Yes, sir."

He stares at me for a second as if he's trying to figure out if I'm pulling his leg or not. "Bullshit."

I smile at him and shrug.

"You could've fooled me. I see you on the set working more than I see any of the other guys... Why aren't you a regular?"

I offer him another shrug. "Your guess is as good as mine."

He nods, understanding my predicament.

I do work hard for these guys. I'm the one on set, never letting the Gaffer out of my sight while the other guys are at staging, staring at their phones. I've known the Gaffer and Best Boy longer than any of the regulars. One of them had even commented to me before about how the Gaffer seems to be less stressed whenever I'm around. And yet, I'm still only a day player.

I have my own theories and speculations as to why that might be. I won't get into the details of what they are, but the rational side of me kind of understands the hiring decisions that were made. Or at least, I've accepted it. I can't make someone hire me.

What does bother me, however, is the constant reminders from people every time I'm out for a couple of days about how I shouldn't have been the one to be gone at all, and the awkward conversations that go with it. Conversations, that despite nicer wording, essentially reads between the lines like this:

Them: "Where have you been?"
Me: "I've been sitting at home, not doing anything because I'm a loser and not good enough to be here full time."*

This. Multiply by several times a day. After a while, it starts to get to you.

But what can I do, other than reply with a smile and a shrug...






* This is not to say that all day players are losers who can't hold a regular position. I'm just saying it sure seems/feels that way sometimes a lot of the time.

Summer Break!

To say I've been busy this past month and a half would be an understatement. I've been slammed with work. The hard, grueling, fourteen hour days of non-stop labor kind of work. And just when I think it's over, my phone rings with another round... And now, another.

Not that I'm complaining. I've been doing this long enough to know that I should just smile and take the hits sometimes. Work is work and when you're in an industry as fickle as this one, you take the jobs while you can. Especially since there were some change ups in the crews I roll with, leaving me with an uncertain next few months. And top that off with some friends of mine who've been moaning and groaning about how they've been out of work for a month or more, I know better than to open my fat mouth and complain.

But that being said, I've been busy. And tired. And for some reason, the pile of unread mail (or more accurately, unopened bills) on my kitchen counter keeps growing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be surprised if posting here is a little lax in the next couple of weeks. I'll post when I can, but between the 7am call times and midnight wraps, it might take me a while before I build up enough energy to pop out a decent post. Meanwhile, take solace in the fact that me working means oodles of stuff for me to bitch about when I finally return.

Or better yet, go to the beach. It's sunny and blazin' hot out here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ten Things I Did Last Week.

1) Ate nothing but potato chips from crafty one day because catering was horrible.

2) Struggled with a ratchet strap for a few minutes while the rest of the department watched me.

3) Got hit with sprinklers more times than days worked.

4) Ate pizza three times.

5) Ate tacos twice.

6) Ate three hot dogs.

7) Re-packed a truck a few times because everything wouldn't fit.

8) Lost my right glove. Found it. Then lost my left one.

9) Gained a farmer's tan.

10) Turned night into day.

Photo.

Things That Don't Suck, Part 1.

In no particular order:

- Being first in the breakfast line.

- Hopping in right before the pass van takes off.

- Shooting in a cool store/museum/building/school with a game room.

- Food trucks for second meal.

- Taking gators and golf carts for a spin.

- Hanging out on the lift gate at lunch.

- When one day of work with a good crew turns into two weeks or more.

- Getting a wrap gift you can actually use and/or wear.

- Really good crafty.

- P.A.s who know how to do a proper lock up. ie: They don't shush you for every tiny thing despite set being a hundred yards away; They let you cross when the Director stops the scene to give notes even though we're still rolling; They let you onto set even though we're about to roll because they know you're supposed to be on set for the shot.

- Taking a blind call for work only to show up and realize you know a big chunk of the crew from one show or another.

- Setting down a light, turning it on and it's in the absolute perfect spot. "It's great! Don't touch it!"

- Taking home part of the set dressing at the end of the shoot.

- Tail lights when there's still daylight out.

- Locations that are five minutes from your house.

- Martinis where you only have one light playing.

- Full crew on load out and wrap days.

- Load out days in general.

- Beating the clock.

- Hard outs that actually mean it.

- Seeing the Gaffer across the room and knowing what he wants before he can even reach for his walkie. And even better, with an understanding nod to one another, you perform the task without one word being exchanged.

- Being able to use house power.

- Day exteriors.

Things That Suck, Part 1.*

(I'm taking a cue from D this week...)

In no particular order:

- Bathrooms that are right next to set. As in, you're trapped in the bathroom and can't flush because they're rolling.

- Breakfast isn't served yet because you have a pre-call and by the time you catch a break, catering has already stopped serving.

- People who put chairs in doorways, and when they see you heading towards the door carrying something big and heavy, they scooch over... but are still in their seat. The chair's still in the way, asshole. Sliding your butt to the left or the right doesn't negate the fact the chair hasn't moved.

- Departments who insist on wrapping up the stingers they borrow, not because they're trying to be nice, but because they're trying to prove they can do it right. Guess what? You can't. The loops are too big/too small/it's backwards and/or "over-under."

- Departments who "borrow" stingers without asking, use them in some far corner of the set without telling anyone, and then leave them there at the end of the night.

- The guy who's there for one day and wins Five Dollar Friday.

- 9am calltime way across town.

- 5pm wraps way across town.

- That one guy from that one department that bugs you for a stinger every time you're in the middle of a major set up. And no, it can't wait. And yes, he's going to bug you every 30 seconds about it.

- Sloooow service elevators.

- Gaffers who change their mind about the same damn light five times.

- Unexpected rain when you're out on location.

- Shooting at a house on a steep hill with an equally steep driveway.

- Overloaded carts with a broken brake and a flat tire.

- When 2nd meal gets there the second they call wrap.

- When Locations can't figure out how to turn off the sprinkler system.

- Carrying a full roll of tape on your belt.

- Getting mistaken for a P.A.

- The equipment delivery you've been waiting all morning for finally arrives the second you sit down for lunch.




* Because we all know no post is long enough to list them all.  :)

I Should've Been A Grip...

As I was doing research the other day (read: going to random websites and procrastinating), I stumbled upon this article that talked about the proposed ban of large sodas in NYC. Interestingly enough, it wasn't the absurd subject matter that made me do a double take, but rather the very first line:

"While hit new movies might make millionaires out of actors, directors and key grips, movie theaters often make little to no money on the actual ticket sales of high-profile, first-run movies."

How many of you can spot what's wrong with that sentence?*


* Either that, or I'm in the wrong department...

Regrets.

Regrets collect like old friends

here to relive your darkest moments...

... It's hard to dance with the Devil on your back.

                                                                                  -Florence + The Machine


I have a lot of regrets in my young lifetime. Shy and reserved in my youth, I tried my best not to draw attention to myself. Fitting in was my goal. I hid from opportunities. Standing out for any reason, good or bad, terrified me. I was always unsure whether or not I should speak my mind. I didn't stand up for people when I should have. I had dreams, but was too scared to reach for them.

Then one day, I realized I couldn't live this way anymore. Something had to change. I could be better. I could do more. I have the potential. It's in there, somewhere. I knew it. The person I wanted to be was aching to be let out...

As I grew older, I grew stronger. I realized that I didn't know what was holding me back because, well, nothing was. My biggest enemy was me, cowering behind a safe wall of familiarity.

That's when I stopped hiding. I stopped waiting for opportunities to find me, only for me to cowardly pass them up. Instead, I sought them out. I hunted them down. And when I didn't like the terms given, I'd change them until I did. I made myself known.

I now walk into a room with purpose. I do my job with strength and integrity. I look out for those around me. I surround myself with very good people and forget the rest.

I got tired of keeping my true self locked away within me. I got tired of all the missed opportunities. I got tired of all the regrets. And it took me too long before I finally had the courage to do something about it. Sometimes I wonder where I'd be if I hadn't hidden myself from the world for so long.

But I do not regret not coming out of my shell sooner. My decisions in the past, whether they were mistakes or not, formed the path that has led me to where I am today.

And where I am now is pretty damn awesome.