Sunday, December 27, 2015

This Year, I Learned That...


...it's possible to land your dream show.
But that dream show may not be what you thought it'd be.
Those who once cheered for you might turn against you.
And those who you thought didn't care might end up your biggest supporters.
The ones you looked up to might fail you.
But the ones who look up to you might not.
This year, I learned that some friendships may fade, but instead of gaining new ones, sometimes other bonds just get stronger.
I learned that despite someone repeatedly saying they'll always be there for you, sometimes they leave the second you turn around.
But as it turns out, you're better off without them anyway.
I learned that when you leave them to fend on their own, arrogant, pompous bastards will fail.
But despite all the assholery I had to put up with, I'll take no pleasure in their downfall.
There'll be no sly smiles or "I told you so's".
Just a shrug of pity for wasted potential.
I learned that while you think you have nowhere to go, someone might be quietly waiting for the opportunity to take you in.
I learned that sometimes, it's unbelievably good to see an old friend, whether or not you realized you needed them.
...And whether or not they realized it, too.
I learned that when you have a career altering decision, you can agonize over it for ages.
But in the end, you need to learn to follow your instincts.
And sometimes, when you begin to regret your decision, the outcome may change in ways you never thought it would.
In some ways for the worse. But in others for the better.
This year, I learned that I will never have things as together as I'd like them to be.
I realized that there'll never be enough time in the world to do all the things I want to do.
That while I may be loved by all on set, I often wonder if I'm lovable in real life.
In 2015, I learned that one can both be drowning and swimming at the same time.

Here's to getting a little closer to the shore in 2016.

Happy New Year to all.



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