Monday, July 27, 2015

The Weather In L.A.

They say there's no weather in L.A.
That the seasons don't change.
Just because our winters don't snow.
And our summers aren't humid.
But we have seasons.
They change.
As sure as my next show will end, they change.
As sure as I change, they change.
The differences may be subtle, but they're there.
You can feel it in your bones.
You can see it in the sky.
You can sense it in the air.
The days get darker.
The nights longer.
The sun doesn't shine as bright.
And the moon hangs low.
Your body feels tired.
Exhausted and melancholy.
But soon enough,
When you've accepted the gray,
The light gradually comes back.
Little by little.
Day by day.
The sky gets brighter.
The nights not as long.
The morning sun makes skyscrapers shimmer like diamonds on the horizon.
And the moon takes its place at night.
You feel lighter,
With a bounce in your step.
Flowers bloom and the grass under your feet turns green again.
The dry, beige strands becoming nothing but a distant memory.
But as soon as you get used to the warmth on your face,
And the cloudless blue sky,
The breeze turns cool.
The clouds move in.
A shiver runs through you.
And the rain begins to fall.
The days get darker.
The nights longer.
The sun doesn't shine as bright.
And the moon hangs low.
You can sense it in the air.
You can see it in the sky.
You can feel it in your bones.
As sure as I change, the seasons change.
As sure as my next show will end, they change.
They change.
And I change with them.

 

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Mansplaining.




Peggy Archer touched on the subject of "mansplaining" a couple years ago, but for some reason, I didn't really understand the term until recently.

Maybe I didn't understand it until an FSO* came up to me when I was helping set up a light. We were shooting outside in a park and he explained to me why I shouldn't put a ballast on dry brush. I looked at the ballast I had just set down, confused as to where the danger was since it was sitting safely on a concrete slab with no woodsy debris around. I pointed to it, still confused on what I had done wrong to warrant such a lecture, and asked him if that was okay. "Yeah," he said, "I just wanted to make you aware of what you're not supposed to do for the future. I'm trying to teach you." I guess being female is what I did wrong because none of the males in my department got the same speech. Did I mention I was the Best Boy on that job?

Or maybe it was when I was checking out equipment that I finally understood the term. Since I've never dealt with this particular rental house and their paperwork wasn't very clear, I asked our floor guy if their ballasts usually came with a 220v snake bite. This apparently prompted him to give me a five minute lecture on what they're used for, how to use them, and what 220v means. Seriously? 1) It was a "yes" or "no" question. And 2) I've been in this industry for close to a decade now. I think I know what a 220v snake bite is.

Or perhaps it was the other day when a colleague "helpfully"** explained to me that the mockingbird the sound guy was bitching about was imitating a car alarm that I finally understood the meaning of the term.

Was the asshole mansplaining when he was quizzing me about my own equipment?

Was the other asshole mansplaining when I was warned that lights get hot?

Or when Douche Bag One explained a c-stand to me?

Was it mansplaining when Douche Bag Two wanted to "teach me" that the colors are supposed to match up when you connect banded?

What about that time when a dickhead actually explained breakfast to me?

Come to think of it, why did it take me so long to really understand what this term meant?

Can a man please explain it to me?




* Fire Safety Officer. He's basically there to ensure we keep fire lanes clear, we have an exit path should an emergency occur and make sure we don't (unintentionally) burn anything down.
** And by "helpfully," I mean I was sitting there minding my own business when said colleague actually got out of his seat, walked by others in our department, and stood in front of me just to "teach" me about this natural phenomenon... Which I was already aware of, thankyouverymuch.


Monday, July 6, 2015

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

I Hate It When...


... everyone that looks in your truck as they walk by has to stop in awe and comment, "Wow. Your truck is empty."*

Yeah. I know it's empty. It's called "getting peeled on days that ends with a 'y'."

Thanks.



* or "Hey, where did all your lights go? Hahaha." I'm sure I'd find that joke** to be funnier if we didn't just use every light we had while being ridiculously understaffed.


** Here's an oldie but a goodie:
"Our Gaffer's an 'available light' kind of guy."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. He uses every available light we have!"


Sunday, June 7, 2015

"If Men Were Treated Like Women In Hollywood."


While I can't vouch for how accurate or exaggerated any of the other parts of this video are (although it I had to guess, I doubt it'd be far from the truth), if you change the part where they say "P.A." to "electrician," I can honestly say those scenes hold truth*. Very much truth.

I've even had this scenario happen to me. Almost word for word. And more than once.



If the "on the set" scenes are so eerily accurate, how realistic do you think the other scenes are?







* And by that, I mean if the roles were reversed. I mean if I was in the guy in the video's place like I am in real life. ...you know what I mean.
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