Know Your Knots.

This conversation happens way more often than you think:

Juicer 1: "Hey, you just tied a granny knot. Not a square knot."
Juicer 2: "No I didn't."
Juicer 1: "Yeah, you did. That is a Granny knot. This [as he demonstrates] is a Square knot."
Juicer 2: [looking at it] "That's what I just did."
Juicer 1: "No... It's not." [Demonstrates the two knots again.]
Juicer 2: "...What's the difference?"
Juicer 1: [Flabbergasted] "Uh... a lot."
Juicer 2: [Now annoyed] "Dude, whatever. Shut the fuck up and get off my back."

Interestingly enough, often times when I see this conversation take place, Juicer 2 isn't the "new kid." I've seen guys who've been doing this for a while not know the difference between a granny knot and a square knot (sometimes also referred to as a reef knot).

It's scary to discover you're working with someone who doesn't know basic knots when they should, and even scarier when they don't know they don't know their knots.

So in case you didn't know...

This is a granny knot.

This is a square knot.

Still don't see the difference? Look again.

The top is a square. Bottom's a granny knot.

And keep looking until you finally do.


Square.

Granny.

They may look "close enough" but when it comes to usage, a granny knot comes undone WAY easier than a square knot. So do yourself a favor and if you haven't already, learn how to properly tie a square knot.

Because while you may occasionally need to tie a square knot, you will never need to tie a granny knot.

And more importantly, because I'm sick and tired of hearing this conversation on set.

What I Learned From A Porn Star.

Warning: A couple of the links embedded in this post may be NSFW.

After thinking about the post I put up earlier this month, I remembered a story I heard a few years ago. I have no idea if it has any ounce of truth to it, but for whatever the reason, the story stuck with me.

Once upon a time, during an porn shoot in the valley somewhere, a producer stepped out of the warehouse they were in to smoke a cigarette. To his surprise, he found one of the newer actresses sitting on the curb outside, crying. Concerned, he asked her if everything was okay.

The young starlet looked up at him with tears in her eyes, and said, "Those girls in there... They're just so mean to me."

Now, I have no idea what these women did to her. I don't know if they just made catty remarks or if they sabotaged her scene or what. It doesn't really matter.

But what does matter is that the producer sat down next to her, looked her in the eyes and said, "You know why those other girls are so mean to you? Because they see you as threat. You may think of yourself as just another new face in the industry, but they see your talent and they see your potential, and that scares them. They don't like. That's why they're so mean to you."

The girl thought about this for a moment before she stopped crying, gathered herself up, and went back inside.

Now, I have no idea what she did once she got back to the shoot. And I don't know what she did after the shoot. I guess it doesn't really matter.

But what does matter, is that girl turned out to be Jenna Jameson, one of the best known porn actresses in her industry, and in turn, mainstream pop culture. Mention her name, and whether they admit to (ahem) seeing her work or not, almost everyone has heard of her.

So you know what, you catty girls out there? You can be as mean to me all you want. Because I know that one day, I'll be as well known in this industry as Jenna is to hers.*

You better watch out, bitches.




* Yes, I realize this may be an odd comparison to make. And yes, I realize this can lead to a whole slew of whore/slut/dirty hoe related comments, but no matter what your view on Jenna or pornography is, my point still stands.

The Invisible Car.

Sorry, but I found this too cool not to share.

Forget that it's a Mercedes-Benz. Instead, focus on the fact that it's an "invisible" car!

Plus, it's with all this talk about LEDs these days, it's hard to ignore the fact that they're rapidly changing the face of our industry (and more specifically, my department).

Them Bitches Be Crazy.

It always bugs me when I meet a new male co-worker for the first time and they immediately play the girl version of the "Who do you know?" game. The one where they go, "Oh! You're a chick! I know other chicks in this business too! Do you know Amy? Samantha? Sara? etc, etc?"

Yeah, they usually mean well, but stuff like that always rubs me the wrong way because 1) immediately pointing out that I'm different than you isn't exactly promoting equality in the workplace; 2) just because we're female doesn't mean we know each other (that's kinda like saying, "Oh, you're wearing a baseball cap! I know other people who wear baseball caps! Do you know [so and so]?"). It's not like female juicers in this business are rounded up every month for a mandatory secret gathering with cupcakes and tea. If I happen to know the person you're mentioning, it's because I've met and/or worked with her before, just like I happened to meet and/or worked with every other person (male or female) that you may know. And 3), believe it or not, girls often don't get along with each other.

Which makes the "Who do you know?" game kinda tricky. You may say to me, "Oh, I know this really cool girl named [blah blah]. She's a badass on set. Do you know her?" and think you're trying to be all friendly and create a common bond between us, but there's a good chance that while I'm smiling and nodding on the outside, inside, I'm thinking, "Yeah, I remember [blah blah]. She was such a bitch to me."

I hate to say it, but sometimes those stereotypes about women being catty to each other are true and unfortunately, just because we're women trying to hack it in a male dominated world doesn't automatically mean that we're hugging each other and singing Kumbaya around the campfire. It doesn't mean that we vent to each other our shared frustrations about working with sexist pigs. And unfortunately, it doesn't even mean that we support one another in our accomplishments.

Out of the handful of women juicers I know and have worked with, there are only one or two of them that I truly enjoy working with and vise versa. We cheer each other on when one of us lands an awesome job and lend each other a hand if we need help with something. The other women I know, I probably couldn't care less about it. I don't know what I may or may not have done to them, but they just don't like me. They often barely say hello to me in the morning, roll their eyes at me if I need a hand unloading cable, or the ultimate girl tactic, act all nice to me in person, but then talk shit about me behind my back.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't get it. I don't understand why it's considered "normal" for us ladies to be so bitchy towards one another. In the "real world," maybe. If you're vying for the last promotion within your nine-to-five job or don't like the looks of the girl with the pretty blonde hair that's suddenly talking to your secret crush, then I can maybe understand the bitch factor coming into play. But come on, in an industry where there are so few females to begin with? You'd think we'd at least try to pretend to give a shit about one another. I remember all the bullshit I had to put up with getting to where I am and how nice it feels when I have someone to commiserate with and talk to, so it baffles me when I work with a woman who doesn't seem to want anything to do with me.

And I suppose one could argue that maybe I'm giving off that vibe as well, but I really doubt it. I was on this one crew not too long ago and it just happened to be that there was another female in our department. I didn't particularly have a problem with her, but the rest of guys on the crew did. "She's not really a team player," was a complaint I've heard from a few of them, "She'll do all this stuff by herself and kinda push you away like she has something to prove. Who is she trying to impress? Why can't we all work together? I help you, you help me." It would've been so easy for me to jump onto that bandwagon and dish out my own complaints about her. Me and my new colleagues could bond over our common dislike of someone, cementing my place on that crew as someone the guys could relate to and get along with.

But I didn't. Instead, I played the compassion card. I told them I could understand where she was coming from. That I've had to deal with the same chauvinistic pigs in this business that she has. The ones who didn't think women belonged on set. With guys like that, you had to prove you could do the work by yourself or else you didn't work at all, and if you work jobs like that long enough, that kind of ethic can stick with you no matter who you're working with now. And while I may not exactly agree with her "I'll do it all myself" attitude, I stood up for her because I felt like I could relate to her more than any of these guys could. Whether she knew it or not, I was her best ally on the set.

But her attitude towards me? She'd roll her eyes whenever I needed a hand lifting something heavy, like all those chauvinistic pigs before her. As if I was putting the woman's movement back a few years by asking for a little help. She wouldn't greet me in the morning or say goodbye at the end of the night unless I made the first move. She'd barely say two words to me the whole time we worked together, other than brush me off with a "I've got this. Why don't you go help the other guys."

Damn girl. Why you gotta play it like that?

I want to see more women on set doing what we do. I'd like to one day work in a business where getting a swag shirt cut for the female form isn't such a big deal. I'd like to have a co-worker who I can chit chat with about getting our nails done or giggling about how our underwear keeps riding up our asses today. But none of that can happen if we can't even get along with each on the job.

I don't understand it. Why aren't we nicer towards each other? Why is it so hard for us to support one another in the workplace? I'm not asking to be best buddies with every chick on set I meet, but why aren't we helping each other more? Why can't we all just get along?


UPDATE:
Apparently, great minds think alike. TAPA touches on the same topic this week.

Thank Your Crew.

I just finished watching the Oscars and while this year's telecast wasn't too bad, the most memorable moment that stood out to me was actually from a commercial.



Sure, it's a little unrealistic and undoubtedly glamorized (not to mention such a blatant ad), but I thought it was nice to have us little thought of below-the-liners acknowledged on a night that's usually so focused on actors and their movies.

In a way, I also guess it's a smart move for Diet Coke to make an ad that pulls at heartstrings of often forgotten crew members. After all, while I may not personally drink the stuff, I can't remember a set, no matter what the budget, where a can of Diet Coke wasn't available at crafty. I think the company owes our industry a big thank you for being such a large part of their revenue stream.

And if any of you reading this win an Oscar one day, don't forget to thank your crew.  :)

"Who Gives A Fuck About An Oxford Comma?"

Hm, I'm starting to see a pattern with these guys...





They like to abuse their Dolly Grips.  :)

Are You Worth It?

Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it.

Sometimes I'll sit around and think about old friends who aren't in this business. The ones who seem happy getting engaged, getting married and having kids. The ones who have a steady, predictable job that lets them have a life when they want to instead of working all hours of the day.

Sometimes I'll think about the older guys I work with. The ones who've been in this business for decades and are still doing the same job they were when they started. Will I still be "just a juicer" twenty or thirty years down the line? Some of them seem content (for the most part) with where they are. They count down the hours left in the day until they can go home to their kids and understanding spouse.

But some of them have loved and lost. Divorced papers have been signed, child support has been paid, and "I get the kids this weekend" is what they're excited about come Friday night. Lovers and family have come and gone, but the only constant in their life is work. Sometimes I look at these men and wonder if I'll end up like them.

And I wonder, if it's all worth it.

People come from every corner of the globe with a sparkle in their eye, just begging for a chance to work in this business. And most of them get their asses handed to them. It's a tough town, but for some reason, I seem to be defying all odds and surviving. I'm making an okay living at it with no sign of slowing down.

But as we all know, things can change in an instant in this industry. What if this is as good as it's going to get for me? What if I never get to where I want to be in this business? What if I'm so busy trying to climb that ladder that I wake up twenty years from now and realize that I haven't gone anywhere. That life has passed me by because I was unwilling to give up a moment of work? Am I better off just bailing out now, get a regular 9 to 5 job and pop out some kids so I'd at least have something ten years down the line?

To get where you want to be professionally, I've been told that you need to put your head down and work hard. And in this crazy, fucked up business we're in and love, you're supposed to take every job that comes your way because you never know when the next one will come, and more importantly, you never know where it might lead. I've taken plenty of seemingly bullshit jobs over the years that have surprisingly ended up being some of the best decisions I've ever made for my career.

Right now, it seems like all I do is work. All I think about is work. Because, let's face it, besides the fact that I'm trying to work my way up as fast as possible, I love my job. I love this industry. I love what I do. Some of my co-workers may think of me as "boring" since I don't have any exciting hobbies to go home to over the weekend, but while they work to live, right now, I guess I live to work.

But a small part of me, just a tiny little piece, believes there's a chance that sometime in the future, I'll look around and realize I didn't make it. That I'm still doing the same job, only now I work to live instead of the other way around. That I sacrificed my youth for a dream that didn't pan out. That I've been so busy working on a go-nowhere career over the years that I forgot I was supposed to get someone to come home to.

And that I'll sit around and wonder, was it all worth it?



♥ Happy Valentine's, Y'all! ♥



Previously.