Friday, November 9, 2018

Just. Fucking. Help.





I'm struggling to get a cart on the gate. Meanwhile, my colleague is just standing there, watching.
"Hey, can you give me a hand with this?" I ask, unable to get this behemoth of an HMi cart up on to the gate of our truck (which is parked on the wrong side of the hill, by the way).

"No. I've worked with a lot of proud women and they always refuse help."
"What?"
"They always want to do it on their own. They get offended if I help them."
"Okaaaay... but I'm asking for your help on this one."

He rolls his eyes and helps me push the cart on to the truck.

Flash forward to another show.

I'm having trouble pushing a cart up a hill. A guy stands on the sidewalk, watching me with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"I'd help you out," he shouts at me, "but I believe in equal opportunity!"

Um... WHAT?

Can someone please explain to me how watching me struggle when you'd gladly help a male colleague in my situation is considered "equal opportunity,"?? It's like slamming the door in a woman's face after you go through it because they might get insulted if you hold the door open for them.

I hold the door open for whoever is behind me. I help whoever needs help. It's called being a human being. It doesn't matter if the're male or female. It doesn't matter if they can inch that entire cart up the hill. It's easier with help. It's better with help. Fuck you if you consciously choose not to help someone who is struggling and is ASKING for help.

Every day I see guys asking other guys for help lifting, carrying and pushing things. Not once have I heard them be refused. But somehow, helping me is sexist. "Equal opportunity" my ass.






1 comment :

Anonymous said...

I find it incredibly frustrating when people "help" me by grabbing something off my hands that I'm perfectly capable of lifting myself (and this probably leads to the comments you mentioned). I can't count the times when I've been lugging stuff for ages back and forth from the truck and NO ONE asks if I need help. Instead they just sit on their asses or do the lighter work as they see I'm doing the heavier stuff. I spent couple of hours yesterday going up and down steps whilst the guys were just tidying up upstairs. At least the best boy noticed I was on my own. Lot of guys only help you when they can look manly and strong doing it.

Jen

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