I Am Alone, But I Am Not Lonely.

From PostSecret.

"So," my co-worker started, trying to fill in the time between set ups, "how come you don't have a boyfriend?" This question was then followed by "When was the last time you went on a date?" and "Do you want me to fix you up?" [Note: He's totally serious.] and then followed by the even more embarrassing and infuriating situation of him explaining to me the importance of "getting out there," the miracle of online-dating and, believe it or not, how my biological clock was ticking.

Thanks, dude, for the biology lesson about my own body.

And I wish I could say this was just a one time incident, but sadly, it happens more than you'd think and way more often than I'd like.

It'd be bad enough if I was a regular on a crew and just had to face the same people everyday, but at least there's the hope that they'd tire of the topic sooner or later. But I'm not a regular on a crew. I'm a day player, working on different shows all the time and I feel like that kind of "conversation"* happens on any show I've been on for more than a day.

It's worth noting that none of these guys are bringing up my relationship status because they want to get in my pants. Oddly enough, the ones usually bringing the subject to light are either married, have a girlfriend, or I'm obviously not their type. They're bringing it up because they're "concerned" (their word, not mine) that I'm going to end up shriveled and alone.

But what I don't get is that if I'm not worried about my perpetual singledom, why are they so concerned with it?

No, I'm not dating anyone right now, and no, I'm not actively looking for a boyfriend. I have more important things to deal with in my life right now. And yes, I am alone, but more importantly, I am not lonely. I do not wish I was married right now. I do not wish to be barefoot and pregnant right now. I am okay with not having a boyfriend. And I do not need a man in my life to help define who I am, be it a significant other or a "helpful" colleague offering unsolicited "advice."

And no, I'm not a lesbian.

I did not think any of this made me a freak, but apparently, it does in the eyes of my male co-workers. I guess to them, if I don't have a man and I'm not desperate to get one, I must need help.

But all these "Why are you single?" talks don't help at all. Instead, they make me feel like there's something wrong with me. Like it's now or never if I want to have a kid. Like I should date an asshole because dating anyone is better than not dating at all. Like not being in a relationship is unhealthy.

But it's simply not true. And I hate that I have to remind myself that it's not true after every single one of those conversations.

I don't ask my male counterparts if they own or rent, and then promptly tell them that they need to buy a house. That time's running out and they must act now if they ever wish to own property and that there are even websites to help them with the search. I especially don't mention these things if they've never even said anything about real estate or wanting to stop being a renter. It's their life. They're adults. And who am I to tell them what they should and shouldn't do with their personal life? Is it too much to ask that they extend me the same courtesy?

So in case you're "concerned" about me, this Valentine's Day, yes, I will be alone. But I will not be lonely. I will spend the evening sitting on my couch, eating a box of chocolate while watching chick flicks and romantic comedies. I know that may sound sad and pathetic to some of you, but fuck you. Who are you to judge me? I love doing shit like that. And despite being single, I love Valentine's Day and what better way to celebrate than watching two people fall in love, even if it's just in a cheesy movie.

Please do not try to "fix me" or fix me up. Or recommend a website. I am fine. I'm one of the few people I know who can say I like where I am right now. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with me.

And for the record, my biological clock is none of your damn business, thankyouverymuch.




Ps. Happy Valentine's Day! ♥



* Is it a conversation if I feel like I'm getting lectured?