I think I may have just broken the cardinal rule of working low budget indies: I passed up a better gig for a shitty one.
And not just an, "eh, one was a little bit better, but I already promised I'd do the suckier one" either. Nor was it in favor of a friend's "passion project." The job I gave up was miles above the one I'm sticking to in terms of money, benefits, production value, prestige, etc.
So what does this suckier, lower paying, going no-where job has that the swanky, better one doesn't?
When faced with the decision of choosing between the two jobs, I decided that I could use a break from constantly having to defend myself against an unfamiliar crew and I kinda missed the camaraderie I got from my low budget peeps. I guess you could say I was homesick and in a way, my decision was kind of like going home for a visit after a tough week of finals in college.
Sure, when faced with the two options, my head was screaming, "WTF are you doing?? It's a no-brainer! Of course you should go with the bigger show!!!" And part of it still is. Especially the part about the money since I still very much remember the work drought of '09, '08... and '07.
But another part of me feels like giving up the bigger job, for just a little while, is the right thing to do if I want to stay sane and not blow a gasket in front of a big name Gaffer. Despite the job itself being kinda sucky, I feel like it'll do me good to surround myself with people I know and am familiar with. People who love me and don't feel the need to question every little thing I do. I need a couple of days where I'm not being watched like a hawk by co-workers who don't trust that I know how to do my job. Or someone quizzing me to see if I know what a double is.
In short, I need a few days of shitty work with good people before I can go back to another day of easy work and shitty people.